


She said, come home

by Arweyn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Bisexual Steve Rogers, Boys In Love, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fix-It, Fluff, Genius Shuri (Marvel), Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am fast and furious, It is after midnight, Lonely Bucky Barnes, M/M, Steve Rogers please be no idiot, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 21:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20477849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arweyn/pseuds/Arweyn
Summary: Steve has been unusually quiet since all dusted people returned. He certainly avoided Bucky's gaze and also that of Sam. In the mornings it looked as if he had slept badly and he became thoughtful every day. His buddy took a breath and kept looking out the window."You know, when I and Tony traveled to a S.H.I.E.L.D. base with time travel to get more Pym-particles, we saw both of them, old acquaintances, again. Tony met his father.  I have seen it from a far distance. Howard. And just before, I went accidentally into an office. I saw her. Peggy. She already had white strands and was still as pretty as the first day. I wanted to go to her, but the mission kept me from doing that.''





	She said, come home

It's been a long day without you, my friend  
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from where we began  
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
When I see you again

........................................................................................................................................................................

Bucky's head ached and he rubbed his temples as he arrived at Tony's riverside home through the glowing portal of Wakanda. Shuri's intensive healing from his memory had become increasingly unpleasant in recent days.  
He was tired, so tired.  
Needed sleep.  
He went to Pepper's house, where she had offered Steve and Bucky to stay at the back of the house, which was there for guests.  
Bucky paused outside the open front door.  
There was playing music. Steve. Of course.  
The record played "It's been a long, long time."  
Bucky took off his boots and walked into the living room as quietly as possible. Steve sat on the sofa looking out of the window. No, not out of the window. On the compass with Peggy's face. 

Bucky felt jealousy. Even if he tried to stop it. It went through him like electricity for a fraction of a second.  
And his chest had a constricted feeling. 

'You still miss her, huh?''  
Steve, who apparently hadn't noticed that Bucky was already there, was terrified and straightened up.  
,,Bucky!''  
"How was the treatment? You look tired.''  
Steve patted on the sofa next to him.  
Bucky let himself fall into the soft sofa. He covered his aching eyes with his hand and took a deep breath. 

,, Bloody hell, Shuri never told me how hard this is going to be. Two injects right arm. Four scans and then the electromagnetic waves. I'm completely through.''  
Bucky laughed briefly and moaned.  
The sofa was incredibly cozy. Steve said nothing. And when Bucky lifted his hand from his eyes, Steve had an uncertain, thoughtful face.

"Is something? Steve? Say, what is it. I know your face when you're worried. What is it?''  
Steve held his breath and this time, he looked straight out of the window. 

Steve has been unusually quiet since all dusted people returned. He certainly avoided Bucky's gaze and also that of Sam. In the mornings it looked as if he had slept badly and he became thoughtful every day. His buddy took a breath and kept looking out the window. 

"You know, when I and Tony traveled to a S.H.I.E.L.D. base with time travel to get more Pym-particles, we saw both of them, old acquaintances, again. Tony met his father. I have seen it from a far distance. Howard. And just before, I went accidentally into an office. I saw her. Peggy. She already had white strands and was still as pretty as the first day. I wanted to go to her, but the mission kept me from doing that.''

Bucky's face had become deeply thoughtful.  
He pressed his lips and his eyes stared at the floor. The jealousy came up again. Toxic and corrosive.  
It left Bucky empty. 

,,So what does that mean?'' Bucky asked almost trembling and he didn't know exactly if he wanted to hear what Steve had in answer.  
The unrest spread. 

Steve pulled up a mouth angel to a smile and mostly he did it when he looked to the future with hope.  
He was extremely attractive, that Bucky knew as a child.  
Steve, whether muscular or spindle-thirsty, he had begun to love and protect him as a child. And it had always been his secret.  
His deepest, dearest secret of what only he knew.  
He loved Steve and after all these years, this love had grown like a root in the ground. Deep and impossible to remove.  
It was something else to love a man. Especially Steve.

"So why am I telling you that? Well, we still have a problem. The Infinity Stones. Bruce said someone has to bring them back to the exact same timeline. Where they come from. I... I went to Bruce and...and I said I could-''

Steve immediately stopped when Bucky suddenly got off the sofa. He looked down at Steve, then on the floor, covering his eyes again with his hand. He sighed and then he looked at Steve with such intensity that Steve wanted to interrupt the eye contact with the shield.

Then Bucky stomped to the kitchen and took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and drank it without a word. He wiped his mouth with his back of his hand and began to stare at the wall. Ignore the words.  
The room was cozy.  
The big light was off, only the lamp separated matt yellow light. From the open door, Bucky could hear the river flowing and Pepper and Morgan's voices too. 

He heard Steve get up from the sofa. A strange feeling of pressure made an uncomfortable pain in the chest. Tears flowed into his eyes and he blinked them annoyed away. He knew what was coming.

,, Bucky. Let me explain.''  
Steve spoke softly and cautiously. When Bucky said nothing, he continued.

,,When I woke up, in a new century, there was no one living who I knew, anymore. None. Later, I found Peggy, old, sick but happy. She showed me her pictures. Her family. Told me everything. And she said she had lived her life and I didn't. I started thinking about it and she told me maybe she and I could start all over again. From the beginning. Living that life I wanted. With children, a beautiful house, a dog and a garden. At weekends I could dance late into the night with her, the children in our arms and have no worries. So simple.''

Bucky said nothing and just continued to stare at the wall as he wiped out some tears from his eyes that Steve didn't see. He kept talking.

'Bucky, it's time to go home, the war is over and now we can't stop. Peggy had said in the illusion when Wanda had manipulated me, that it was time to go home.  
Back. Where we come from. Where our home is, where we are happy. I did what I had to do. My work. I'm done. Buck, I want you to understand. I'm not right here. It's over and I'm tired. I want to go home. Please.''

That please, it tored Bucky's heart. It hurt, it hurt so much to hear that Steve was saying, his life, the happy, ideal life, everything he wanted, was with Peggy.

Bucky took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

,, Steve. I can understand you. She was the love of your life and it means everything to you. But if life would be always so beautiful and will fulfill all wishes for us, it would not be called a life. There are barriers and setbacks. But we have to learn to accept what we get and what we have. Damn, I've never sounded so philosophical. Steve, look at the river. It takes his course just as much as life. It cannot flow backwards back to the mountain where it comes from. It is how it is. We can start again, rebuild everything. Steve, together.''

Bucky looked at his friend with enduring and despair.  
Steve looked away. 

,,Buck, I miss her so much. I could scream. I want to see her so much. Have the dance. Peggy, I loved her. As much as the world and I loved you. Damn, I still love you. But... I just terribly miss her.'' 

Steve's words were soaked with bloody longing, and Bucky felt like he was drowning. He swallowed and started again.

,,Wanda, Sam, Bruce, all of them. What will happen to them? Do you want to tell them?''

Steve covered his face. ,, Sometimes it's better if only a few, important people know something.''

Bucky shook his head and tears ran silently over his cheeks. ,,Steve, you're not that person. Please don't be like that.''

Steve buried his face in his hands and then looked up.

"I'm tired. I want to go in peace. I just want to have the life I've always wanted. ''

Bucky swallowed and tried again.

"Isn't life here enough? What more do you expect?'' Bucky didn't look at Steve anymore.

"No, please Buck, it's not how you think. I love this life. But I want to make some progress. A family.''

'Okay...'' Bucky gave up. I... I... before you go I want... I can't.''  
The sobs took over Bucky's voice.  
,, I...had... had something I wanted to tell you one day, but I ...''  
Bucky's face was wet and it was good to let go of all the stowaway feelings while the whole body was shaking.  
Steve looked shocked and something sparkled in his eyes, looking like tears. 

,,Bucky, are you... are you crying?''

Bucky looked at Steve through all the tears.  
,,Why shouldn't I ?'' He stormed away.

The night was clear and Bucky sat down on the bench by the river. The water of the river rippled, warm tears ran down his face and he realized. 

He wasn't worth it. He had an unstable memory, had committed countless murders and assassinations.  
Had gone twice from Steve.  
5 years.  
He was sorry for Steve. He tried to overcome the grief and the shock and of course he was tired.  
Bucky was an idiot.  
Described Steve as an egoist while he was selfish because he imagined, Steve would spend the rest of his life with him.  
He had spent his time with Steve. Now it would be Peggy's turn.

Bucky breathed in and out quietly, and then he lay down on the bench and looked into the sky.  
Millions of stars.  
The sight calmed him down and he continued to stare at flashing stars and passing shooting stars.

..................................................................................................................................................................................

Apparently Bucky had fallen asleep on the bench and the sudden cold overran him.  
He had no blanket, he was freezing cold and then he decided to sleep on the sofa instead of sleeping with Steve in bed. 

There was no light in the house.  
Bucky briefly doubted that the door was locked, but it was open. Bucky sneaked quietly into the house, took off his jacket, went to the sofa wearing boxer shirts and tried to sleep.

The fatigue from the therapy had disappeared and now the thoughts came again.  
And with the thoughts all the fear, worry, confusion and despair. 

Bucky felt tears coming back.  
The eyes burned. He pressed his crying face into the cushion so Steve didn't hear him.  
Bucky breathed in and out. He had learned this from Shuri while suffering immense pain.  
Removing the winter-soldier program was no easy feat.  
There came memories that scared him, memories that were bloody and cruel, and Shuri probably saw them too.

,, Buck? Don't you sleep in the bed?'' Steve's voice came from behind. Bucky ignored the pain of Steve's sad and quiet voice.  
He dropped tears and heard only his own sobs.

Steve came to him, sat down and stared at Bucky. He was glad it was dark so he didn't have to look at Steve's gaze. He also straightened up.

,,Steve, Me, I was stupid. You know, I thought and you actually deserved to have a happy life.''  
Bucky said this calmly, even though the anger raged in him. 

'I'll miss you, maybe as much as you miss Peggy right now but I want to tell you one thing.  
Don't put yourself in danger to save me, yes? You have to remember, I'm here and I'm fine. Well, with more or less longing.'' 

Bucky smiled slightly. Steve's grateful look filled him with happiness and he felt better. 

,,When are you going to leave?'' Steve looked down on the carpeted floor and then up again. ,,  
In the morning. Better earlier, Bruce said.''

,,Does Bruce know about it?'' 

,,No, no one, just you.''  
Bucky nodded and said again.

,, I will miss you. Steve.''  
Steve's face fell and he put his arms around Bucky. He buried his face in Steve's neck and inhaled the light smell of freshly washed bedding. 

,, Buck?'' The two broke away from each other.  
,,Yes, punk?''  
,,You wanted to tell me something. Before you stormed away.'' Bucky looked at his hands and rubbed his neck. Then he looked at Steve's face. So beautiful, edgy and dreamlike. He took a slow breath and leaned back. 

"You remember the first time we met in Brooklyn? We were young you so small and then I wondered if you would ever grow.''  
Bucky laughed.  
,,The sad thing is that I can't remember much of it any earlier. But I took something with me, from all these years.  
You, the memories of you. A lot of people saw me as the women's magnet number one but when I saw back, it wasn't the women. It was just one, always, you. Steve. It may sound crazy and stupid, but you showed me how real love is. The love kind of anchored itself to me after all these years. I didn't want to and didn't tell anyone. Until now.  
I wondered that I had fallen in serious love with you. But I knew I fell head over heels in love with that small, weak boy .'' 

Bucky made a sound between a slight laugh and a sigh.  
Steve's face was smiling. He patted Bucky on the shoulders and went to the bedroom.  
When Bucky later followed him confused, he was already asleep.

..................................................................................................................................................................................

'How long will it last?'' 

Sam turned to Bruce, who was focused on adjusting everything.  
Bruce replied without looking away. 

,,As long as it takes for Steve, five seconds for us.''  
Bucky also stood freezing at the back and watched the action quietly. The head was empty of thoughts.  
Steve refused when Sam offered to go along.  
Then he turned to Bucky and looked at him smiling. 

,,Don't do anything stupid until I come back.''  
Bucky pulled up a corner of his mouth, just as Steve did, and answered back. 

,,How can I? You take all the stupid with you.''  
The hug lasted only a short time and Steve's smile was wiped away. 'I'll gonna miss you, buddy.''  
Steve looked deep at Bucky. 

,,It's gonna be okay, Buck.''  
No, it won't, Bucky thought. Perhaps he should ask Shuri to erase his entire memory.  
The thought sounded insane and Bucky buried it immediately.  
Steve took Mjolnir and the suitcase with the infinity stones. 

,,Three. Two. One.''  
Bucky saw Steve disappear, in that white time travel suit.  
Gone. 

'And back in five, four, three, two, one.''

A bang filled the air and vibration noises were there. Steve was on the platform, the mask disappeared and he hadn't changed a bit, perhaps with only slight burn marks and a messy hairstyle. He had stayed, he came back.

Bruce clapped his hands and sat down in the grass.  
Steve went to Sam to throw the shield in front of his feet.

,,We will talk to each other. Sam.''  
Steve walked away from Wilson, who stood there with his mouth open, and turned to Bucky. 

They walked closer to each other and Bucky wanted to hug him, to have him with him.  
Instead, he felt a warm, soft pair of lips on his lips.  
Two hands on his cheek. Bucky let himself be driven by the tenderness and kissed him back excitedly. He felt Steve's tongue swipe over his lower lip and he pressed Steve's face closer to him with his metal hand on Steve's nape.  
Steve's hands were on Bucky's hips. 

Bucky slowly broke loose and saw Steve crying, clear tears streaming.  
Bucky stroked his cheek. 

Steve bent over and then stopped.  
,, I'm home, Buck, home is where you have people who love you. Peggy loved me and she will always do as I'll always do.''

Bucky pressed a kiss on his mouth again and muttered quietly. 

,,I love you Stevie.''

Steve pressed Bucky to his body.  
,,I also love you, Buck.  
Till the end of the line.''

**Author's Note:**

> I still cannot get over Endgame. The ending made me mad and I just really wanted to write a fix-it.  
It's late and I wrote this instead of sleeping.  
Thank you Marvel, I enjoyed Endgame but please, the ending was horrible.  
I am trying to forgive Steve Rogers. I'm trying.  
By the way, I like Peggy a lot but she already has a family!!!!  
THANKS FOR READING!!!


End file.
